LOVE's Just A Word I Never Learned To Pronounce
by mcherpaderp
Summary: Kenny returns from hell, but this time as a girl. Stan and Kyle decide to have some fun with him. Kyle/Kenny/Stan. PWP. genderswitch!Kenny. Oneshot.


Kenny McCormick was used to dying and coming back like nothing had ever even happened. He was used to no one even caring anymore that he was dead, because they knew he'd just come back sooner or later. He was even used to having to put up with hanging out in Hell with Damien for however long he had to stay. What Kenny wasn't used to, was coming back from the grave in a girl's body.

Kenny looked at his skinny (malnourished, most would say) yet curvy new body in the mirror of his bedroom. He still had his short blonde hair, and his blue eyes, and his face looked unmistakably Kenny, just with a feminine touch. He pulled at his parka until it fell to the floor, revealing breasts that were definitely on the larger side for someone so thin, hidden underneath a white tank top.

"Holy shit, dude." He said to himself, quickly stripping off the tank top and ogling himself in the mirror. He brought his hands to his chest, fondling himself in the mirror. One hand teased a nipple while the other slowly made its way to unbutton his pants, sliding them and his underwear down to his ankles. He moaned a little, moving his hand in between his legs. 'Oh, yeah, I think I could get used to this.'

"Hey, Kenny, are you in there?" He abruptly stopped what he was doing. Kyle. Why was he in his house? And why did he have to pick now to interrupt him, of all times? Kenny grunted, pulling his clothes back on, a slight blush on his face when he opened the door to see not just Kyle, but Stan too, waiting outside the bathroom for him.

"What. The. Fuck."

"Kenny, is that …you?"

"I came back this time as a girl. If you hadn't figured that out yet." Kenny crossed his arms, causing his cleavage to become more noticeable beneath his half unzipped parka.

"Your boobs are fucking huge." Stan didn't even try to hide his gaze. His eyes were practically eating holes through Kenny's shirt.

Smirking, he sat on his bed, crossing his legs completely ladylike. "Why, thank you, Stanley. I noticed." He unzipped his parka a little more, showing off more of the cleavage. "You can touch 'em if you want."

"K-Kenny, you're such a pervert." Kyle stammered, turning beat red.

"I was being serious. But fine, if neither of you are man enough…" Kenny feigned boredom and started to zip up his parka again.

"Wait!"

"Stan, what are you doing? You're not serious?!" Kyle's eyes were wide, hoping Stan was just kidding, or this was all some crazy dream.

Stan scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Oh, come on Kyle. It might be …fun. I dunno."

Kenny posed seductively on all fours on his bed, making Kyle turn redder, if possible. "Yeah, Kyle, it'll be fun~ please?"

"You're such a dirty slut, you know that?" Kyle mentally smacked himself for what he was about to do, and then moved closer to Kenny. He leaned in, and Kenny grabbed the back of Kyle's head, forcefully pulling him into a kiss. Stan watched in awe as his two best friends (though one had turned into a girl, so he wasn't quite sure of anything anymore) started making out with each other in front of him, kissing both hungrily and messily, groping each other the entire time.

Kyle started pulling the parka off of Kenny, as Stan climbed on the bed behind them and groped Kenny's breasts from behind, leaving kisses up and down his neck. He moaned at the sensation, more of a girlish whine. It was pretty good when he had done it to himself, but now that someone else was doing it, it was downright amazing. Kenny shifted positions, leaving a trail of kisses down Kyle's stomach until he reached his belt buckle, which he quickly made little work of. Kyle's pants and boxers slipped down to his ankles, and Kenny licked the tip of Kyle's erect cock before taking the whole thing into his mouth. Kyle moaned loudly, tangling his hand in Kenny's hair, watching his head bob up and down.

Stan unzipped his own pants, taking his own length in his hand. Watching Kenny and Kyle like this was making him hard. Kyle was bucking into Kenny's mouth, and he was just sucking him off, the most content look ever on his face. Kenny suddenly stopped, leaving Kyle with a disappointed look.

"Is it my turn yet?" Stan grabbed Kenny from behind, and soon Kenny's pants and underwear were tossed onto the floor next to his parka, along with the rest of Stan's clothing. He stuck one finger into Kenny's backside, stretching him, followed by another, while Kyle fingered Kenny's new clit, waiting for Stan to enter him.

"Will you two just hurry up and fucking do me already?" Kenny panted.

"Mm. Somebody's eager." Kyle removed his fingers and slipped himself in between Kenny's legs, causing a loud moan from him as he did so. Stan just laughed.

"You're gonna moan a lot louder than that once I'm done." He coated his length in his own precum and entered Kenny from behind, grinding in rhythm with Kyle.

"Ahh, oh fuck! Stan! Kyle!"

"Mmm, Kenny!"

"Fuck me harder. Mmph,"

Kyle, Stan, and Kenny were all kissing each other, panting, and moaning. Stan leaned over Kenny's shoulder and locked lips with Kyle, his hands still planted firmly on Kenny's hips.

"Oh god, guys, I-I'm gonna--" Kenny came first, collapsing on top of Kyle, who was still pounding into him relentlessly, as was Stan. Kyle came afterwards, then Stan, both with unintelligible mumble-moaning. They all just laid next to each other, Stan and Kyle sort of cuddling Kenny in between them.

"What sucks is next time I die, I'll probably be a dude again. 'Cause that was fun."

"Who says we can't do this when you're a guy? You just won't have awesome tits." Stan stared at Kenny's chest, smiling. Yeah, he'd miss those alright.

"True." Kenny fondled his own breasts again with a smile.

"You guys are so fucking gay."

"Shit. Hi, Cartman."


End file.
